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Last week’s counseling session was tough! There is something about digging into your past that makes you feel overwhelmed but it also brings clarity to why you turned out the way you are.

It was a session of talking about my childhood. It was a session of talking about my trauma of losing my mother when I was 11. The trauma of someone hurting me to the core and learning to forgive them. I thought last week was hard but this week will dive into that pain of someone betraying me as an adult. (I’ll share my testimony soon)

My childhood was great. I had loving parents who instilled the values of God in me. I had an amazing sister growing up and a bonus sister(cousin) who stayed with us. I was a good kid; cried a lot, lol but didn’t really get into trouble.

I truly respected my parents and what they did in raising me. As I’m older and in counseling, it allowed me to think of my upbringing and see the connection as it spilled over in my adulthood, parenting, and marriage.

I received love growing up but only the way they knew how. Now looking at it, I would have liked to be loved more. Telling me they loved me, going places, taking pictures, family vacations, moments of looking me in my face and encouraging me, and showing me how to express myself. I’m super grateful for my upbringing but I realize they raised me based on what they knew to do. How many of us are the same? 🤔

Now that I am an adult, I’ve always said I would be intentional of physically showing and saying I loved my kids. I would take a million pictures and videos so they could look back to their childhood. I want them to know that mommy did all she could to love them and show them the love of Christ.

Now that I am married, I recognize that I appreciate the love from my husband even more because I did not receive it like I would have liked to. In those moments where I don’t receive love, it takes me back to my childhood. Counseling has shown me so much in that and how our past can hinder our future.

Many people think counseling is not for them but I urge each of you to just give it a try. I mean what will it hurt? There is a chance you can get clarity on why you are the way you are. There is a chance of freedom. There is a chance of learning things about yourself so that you can become better. I have a friend who has a book out called, “Counseling is not a Cuss Word”. I do believe people think like this. They think they don’t need it. To be honest, I believe there is fear. A fear of learning things about yourself you don’t want to deal with. A fear of taking steps in stopping your pity party and moving into freedom.

Don’t be that person who holds onto the past and allows it to hinder your present and future. You can find freedom. It will take time.

I’m actively walking into my freedom. Freedom of loneliness, resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness, control, anxiety, depression, fear, anger, disappointment, and sadness. I encourage you to actively work in your freedom. Now is the chance to match your outward beauty into being beautiful and healed in the inside. It’s time we wear our story of freedom. In and out beauty! ❤️

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