Today was my second time at counseling.
I learned about communication.
How to talk…
How to listen…
How to express my feelings without being aggressive…
How to find my triggers.
What makes me down?
What makes me sad?
What makes me anxious?
What makes me overwhelm?
Let’s ponder on that. What makes you feel a certain way? How do you react?
Here are my triggers…
Kids constantly fighting with each other.
Hard talks with hubby.
Being overwhelmed with multiple things at once.
Once I am triggered by this, I have thought about it then it tells my brain to feel a certain way then that affects how I act and in turn projects on the people around me.
My counselor wanted me to find my trigger and once I have that thought, try to change my reaction. To not let it go further than a thought. Often times my feelings can hinder a fulfilling relationship with my husband. It can hinder the time I spend with my kids.
I knew I wasn’t the best communicator and today really bought it to light. The way I talk to my husband when I am down or angry does not help our situation. God has called women to be the peacemakers and when we are in our feelings, it allows havoc in our relationships.
Often times I find myself being passive avoiding contact, speaking softly, putting myself down, and emotionally dishonest.
How many can relate?
I also find myself mean, sarcastic, inappropriately honest, and not taking in my husband’s feelings.
Can you relate?
My homework is to not talk in a passive or aggressive manner but to be assertive.
Firm but polite.
Warm, friendly eye contact, building one up, appropriately honest, and stands up for me.
Often times I can be hard on myself. I’m not honest with my feelings.
A LOT of times I do not allow myself to process my feelings. I have a thought and it’s a wrap after that. I get in my feelings, let it affect my mood, and the people I love to experience that.
A couple of takeaways I got from today.
1. It’s okay to express your feelings but as long as it’s in a healthy, firm but polite way.
2. Just because you had a thought doesn’t mean you have to act on it. We have the power to try to react and think in a positive way.
3. We have the ability to be peacemakers in every conversation we are in.
4. Our thoughts do not control us!
5. It’s okay to not know how to communicate right. Recognize that you don’t then take the steps to become a better communicator.
6. Next time you react to one of your triggers, pause and process why you feel that way so you do not begin to feel a certain way letting your body feel some type of way affecting your mood.
This blog has been freeing and I pray you are taking the steps towards freedom. You deserve it. Until next time, walk in your freedom.