I wanted to start this blog to express myself in my journey in counseling.
Not knowing how to communicate
Above are the things I continue to suffer with., depression started when my mother passed away when I was 12 years old. Anxiety…well everyone has it, it’s just others have it worse than you. It could be something as small as needing to get over to the right lane so you don’t miss your exit. Or it could be of not knowing when my next client would come. Failure of being a bad wife, bad mom, and a bad friend. Often times I get down on myself for not doing the best I can and giving others what they need. Failure of not being successful in my business, managing my husband’s music career, and so on… Selfishness- Having selfish moments in my marriage and always thinking of me. Being selfish in how I can gain without looking at how he can gain. Communication- not knowing how to articulate my words especially when it’s a heavy topic. Not thinking about a particular topic so I don’t have to talk about it. Holding things in and going on through life. Today was my first day of counseling. I was filled with anxiety, worry, and fear. I cried. I laughed. I listened. I spoke. Today was the first step of being a better me. It was the first step of no longer being afraid and going hard in getting better.
Today was the first step in no longer allowing my past to dictate my future. What did I learn today? Communicate more with my husband even when it’s hard for me to put it into words. Not let how I was raised dictate my own marriage. Stop trying to tackle every single task and ask for help. Go see a doctor to check on my health regularly. Be prepared to talk about my goals in my next session. Today was the first step. It was scary but I am glad I did it. Please pray for me on this journey. Are you struggling? Do you need help?
Do you not know where to start? Let’s connect and let’s get better. We deserve it and so do the people in our lives. Until next time….be bold in taking the next step.